Habits That Worked In 2023… And Habits That Didn’t

I did a lot of thinking about habits in 2023. Only a few years ago, in 2020 I think it was, did I start thinking of habits as a positive thing. Before then, I always thought of habits in the negative like biting your nails, not turning lights off in a room you’re not in anymore, and forgetting to lock your car, things like that.

Since I realized that habits can actually change your life (yes, I know that sounds crazy but they can), I’ve started paying much closer attention to them and now, in December of 2023, I can officially say that this was the first year where I made paying attention to my habits a full time habit. Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I read this book this year and will probably make it an annual tradition.

So let’s dive in. Feel free to pick and choose what speaks to you; implement what you want to implement; ignore what you want to ignore

Habits that worked:

• Writing down my goals

  I’ll admit, I never used to write down my goals. I kept them in my mind and, in fear of not achieving them, I didn’t want to write them down or share them with anyone. (I’ve never been outwardly competitive; but, on the inside, I compete with myself all the time.) This year I started writing down my goals, not with timelines attached, just writing them down to make them real. I heard that writing down your goals actually connects the side of your brain that dreams them up with the other side of your brain that’s tactical and you immediately, subconsciously, start tactically thinking of how to make them happen instead of just hoping they come true. The science on it is crazy.

• Meal prep

  This is like writing down your goals but specifically about food. This year, I made it a habit to take a moment on Sunday afternoons or evenings to plan out our dinners for the week and ordering groceries to pick up Monday morning so we have everything we need. This helps in SO many ways.

  • Saves me from decision fatigue at the end of each weekday

  • Saves me from not knowing what to make and therefore ordering takeout or going out to an expensive dinner

  • Gives me something to look forward to and allows me to add in meals I would never think of if I were tired (key in Pinterest for these fun ideas)

  • Saves me from feeling guilty that my business was on my mind all day instead of thinking about what to cook for my family

• Gratitude

  Gratitude is so much more than sitting down on Thanksigiving and sayng what you’re grateful for in that moment. It’s something I’ve started mindfully doing for the last few years (again, since COVID quarantine happened), and I’ve got to tell you, it calms my anxiety down almost instantly.

• Planning content creation in advance

  Similar to writing down your goals and planning your food for the week, planning your content in advance is a godsend. I suggest picking one day a week that you promise yourself to work on content creation and plan out as many posts as you can, whether that be 3, 5, or 7. Doing this allows your brain to relax and really focus on other things instead of constantly being worried about what you’re going to post that day, whether or not the algorithm will notice and throw you into no-reach-jail when you come back, or being worried about where your customers are shopping while you’re away.

• Having an inspiring book to read before bed

  You have to be careful with this one. If the book is too educational, you might end up keeping yourself up more because you put yourself into “go mode”. If the book is simply a fun fictional one, it doesn’t really teach you anything and you also might get so sucked into it that you read for two hours past the time you were supposed to go to bed. I’ve found that books like, “The Happiness Trap” or “Girl, Stop Apologizing” are really helpful because I can read a few pages, let my mind digest what it just read as I drift off to sleep, and feel more wise when I wake up in the morning.

• Doing “restaurant at home” nights

  My family and I started this back during COVID when we couldn’t go out because I LOVE going out to eat. Like, if I could go out to a different restaurant every night, I’d be happy. I love that everyone can get what they want, I love that I don’t have to do dishes, and I love that other people decide what best goes together instead of having to try and figure it out for myself. However, this can obviously get very expensive and very unhealthy. During COVID though, we obviously couldn’t do that so we started learning how to re-create our favorite restaurant experiences at home. I started doing this again this year and not only has it been fun for our family but it’s saved us a bunch of money as well. For example, there’s an Italian restaurant down the street from us that we love and we now make all the stuff at home. I get spinach & artichoke dip, fresh French bread, make salad with freshly shredded mozzerella cheese, get a pre-made lasagna and gnocchi from Trader Joes, and get a slice of cheesecake from the bakery section… all our favorites for a third of the price. Oh, I also taught myself how to make lemon drops at home as the cherry on top.

• Intermitent fasting

  This one snuck in just in the last month but it’s one I will be sticking to for a little while at least so I had to add it. I have tried a LOT of things to help me keep my weight under control over the years and this has been the first thing that has actually worked for longer than two weeks and without me feeling constricted to what I eat during the day. I know this won’t be for everyone but I still wanted to share it. I listened to a podcast the other day with Ed Mylett and Dr. William Lu and Dr. Lu explained the science behind intermitent fasting and, since then, it’s totally worked for me. It’s helped me stop snacking so much before bed (when I used to have cookies, a bowl of cereal, and sometimes also a sleeve of crackers or ice cream), caused me to crave less sugar in the mornings (I now get really excited to have my eggs and avocado toast at 9 or 10am), and I’ve already lost 5 pounds when, for a long time, I couldn’t lose any. Now, I say this with only my story in mind. I have no judgements or opinions on how much anyone should weigh, I just want you to be happy and healthy. I haven’t felt comfortable in my own skin, not because of anyone telling me this, I just had a feeling deep down in my heart saying, “you can take better care of yourself, stop eating to feel better, you can do better,” and so my journey with health continues.

Habits that didn’t work:

• Pushing forward no matter what

  I used to think that, “if I just try and work hard enough, I’ll make this successful.” Well I’m telling you right now, that isn’t always true. Do you need to try your best? Yes. Do you need to work really hard sometimes? Yes. Should you do these things without truly resting for 6 months straight? Absolutely not. Push forward, yes, but over time. And if you hit a place on the road where your gut is telling you, “you need to put this on the back burner,” you need to put it on the back burner.

• Scrolling Instagram for inspiration (too often)

  We’re all guilty of this but I still thought it was worth mentioning. I heard someone say the other day that it’s been scientifically proven that, if you’re really and truly focused, like “in the zone” focused, and you stop to do something else (like check your email or check your social media for “just a second”), it can end up taking you 25-45 minutes to get back into that rhythm again. Now, for those of us who have children and constantly get interrupted, I hope this is validating for you; it certainly was for me. But using the excuse that you’re using Instagram for inspiration will only lose you time and money in the long run. If you really think scrolling [anywhere] gives you inspiration, then set a 5 minute timer and STOP when it goes off. If you haven’t found inspiration in that time, you’re not going to.

• Staying up until 2am 3-4 nights a week to get things done

  I’ve always been a night person, ever since I was little. In middle school, I used to stay up until 3am reading Harry Potter. In high school, I used to stay up re-decorating my room or painting my nails a different color (or sneaking out and going for walks just listening to music to be honest). During and after college, I would go out dancing and not get home until the wee hours of the morning. Now, having kids who like to wake up at 6am, this doesn’t work for me anymore. Earlier this year I told myself, “it’s okay, you can stay up, just sleep when the baby takes her nap tomorrow.” I almost never napped when she napped because I’d think of something else I “had” to do and, by the time I laid my head down on the pillow to close my eyes, she’d start to stir and I’d end up resenting her for not sleeping longer. I’m sorry to say but, if you’re a night person AND have early-riser children that can’t entertain themselves, I recommend only doing this one night a week.

• Watching Netflix

  Don’t get me wrong, I still love a good British mystery binge-fest every once in a while, but getting in the habit of sitting down in front of the tv after the kids go to bed just because “that’s what we always do” was not helpful for me. Every once in a while, you need to let your brain recharge in a different way. For example, I now like to lay in bed and read or take my laptop into the living room and put a fire on a few nights a week. This does two things, it lets the Netflix nights be even more fun and meaningful and it also lets my mind recharge more effectively. I see things more clearly (and most of the time, my mind is telling me, “you need to go to sleep”; that voice usually gets drowned out when the tv is on).

As we go into a new year, it’s good to reflect on what worked for you in this one and what you want to leave behind. I have a Goal Setter Template that I recommend to anyone, whether it’s New Year’s, a new week, or simply a moment when you decide your life just needs to be different from what it is.

Women artists, want more real-life tips and tricks for how to sell your work online so you can make sales while you sleep or make pancakes for your kiddos on Saturday morning? Join my Artisan Coaching Studio monthly membership or take my Full Course Training with lifetime access! Stop putting aside your passion for your creative work and start getting paid for what you love to do.